i am blogging at work now. Its around 930 now so i have about 30 more minutes till i work non stop till 11.

Today i met a friend in school. We used to be close friends. But after changing schools, we didnt contact at all. Now she's in RP, but seeing her sort of feels.... Nothingless. How can such close friends be separated by distance? Aren't friends emotionally bonded together? Why should distance play a part in relationships? Are relationships that fragile?

on the other hand, my friend and her boyfriend were just dating when he had to leave to study in australia. She is the stickly kind, who needs to see her boyfriend everyday. But this short one month relationship they shared in singapore made them last longer than they would have, should he still be in singapore. It has been 2 years and they are still very much together.

These two relationships, why are they so different in outcome? does distance make the heart fonder? Or does it cause strained relationships instead?
Do you believe in long distance relationships then? How about relationships whereby you hardly see each other and yet still love each other? Do they really exist?

-- updated
I have no idea why i typed this , but (:

Nothing Lasts Forever

Christmas. Because it's solemn , sad yet it gives a happy and joyful atmosphere

I have seen a very bad change of attitude in you. You are disrespectful and loud to the class when you arrive. I don't know and it is not my business knowing either, but whatever issue you have with Raiyan, you must clear it outside and do your work in class as it should.

i guess i really need an attitude change.
but when i dont talk, he says i dont participate. now i do talk, sense , and work related stuff he says i didn't...
but. it's unfair. I did work. good quality work. and i get fucked up grades.
i loved this faci, but now i am gonna change this to hate.
He's fucking cheesepie bias fuckhole who should stop trying to act funny with his fucking lame jokes.

i feel like crying now. although i read this comment a few days ago.
it affected my performance in marketing class yesterday.
i need. a hug. a motivation. i dont wanna give up. I fucking hate carlos.

Hi Emma, I am not going to blog about accounting today (:
i am trying to think of something long (and not private) to type , but i have no inspiration again.

Marketing was alright. Lee Ying is really good man, and it feels good to have someone good to turn to when in doubt, who will seriously help you and all. thanks ! (although I don't think you will ever read this)

Work sucked today. and tomorrow BTT !

Let's talk about ambitions then. I started my mass communications education because I guess English was my best subject in Secondary School. It's general, and it's easy to go into almost any other industry.

Amongst all my modules, I loved journalism. I love how journalism can influence people's thoughts. It's powerful and harmful, which intrigues me. But now I am lost. With my recent assignment (I had to write a newspaper article), I was totally stuck. At first I was with hopes, ideas and inspiration. But after writing my article halfway, I did not like it, and refused to continue on writing, causing myself to be stressed up with a nearing deadline. Is this the life I really want?

I have no idea what to be. I lose my passion for journalism more and more and..
So much for thinking I have grown up and matured. I have no. And I am lost.

But oh well, Polytechnics give you the chance to think about what I really want.
1 year down, another 2 to go. I don't wanna grow up so fast :(

SICK SICK SICK SICK.
FML FML FML FML

cause baobei-er . you know i love you so.
thank you for sharing with me (:
yesterday as i hugged you to comfort you, I was thinking that I am so glad you are still okay.. after that incident you told me about.
Thank god for letting you stay on this earth, for living,
Thank god for letting me know you and be good friends with you
and pray that you will be alright and you can do the things you love and be happy
cause i love you so :)

Accounting today was great. easy i guess.
and tomorrow gonna submit nomination form!
must must must. cause i am gonna start going for Ig, as i did in secondary school

Wed Work
Thurs BTT
Fri Event

i like having packed schedules. keep me thinking, moving, and feel alive
and i am like sick every tuesday .. ):

I AM DONE WITH MY ASSIGNMENTS!
(:

(:

If i walk, would you run?
If i stop, would you come?
If i say you're the one, would you believe me?
If i ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am i catching up to you?
While your running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me

remember how i would always find you when i had problems
when you would scold me stupid for my own good
when i quarreled with someone else in the group, the others were there to hold us together
when i first saw you after stepping inside w15c, afraid alone
when we immediately click, so very fast and became good friends
when we would webcam in class because we were in different groups
when we would gang up to go against someone we dislike in class?
when we use to dislike each other but somehow managed to patch up?
Perhaps you won't believe me. But i did do almost anything to go back to how it used to be.
i love you. all. very . much.
and this would be the last post that i mention such sad stuff about you all cause you all make me (:

▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥▫♥

i wish you all love me the way i love you guys..

i am sick of clubbing.
i hate drinking.
and i hate the lingering taste of bad breath in my mouth.
and i am serious . everything's boring me.
school. assignments. sleep. sound so much more appealing. fml.

yesterday night clubbing with my gang of friends.
thanks cheryl for coming down to sign me in ! :) *she's really gorgeous, i swear*
earlier in the afternoon went out with Vera Dana Rachel :)
went to a flea, then FEP.
didnt buy much.
i was actually not in the mood to go out but i had to force myself out
cause i don't like punk'in people.
I HAD FUN WITH YOU GIRLS <3

i am tired of trying to mend the gaps between us.
i am tired of trying to make things the way they were,
can't you all see that I am trying to make things right?
random text messages in the morning
random msn conversations
randomly going to all your classes inspite of having work to do

I am hurt.
by your accusations that I forgotten you all.
you were all my bestest friends in school.
and i will never, ever forget you all.
cause you all are a part of me. my first friends in RP.
you all taught me that RP was actually a good place to be in, if not I would have definitely quit school.

but now. i am lost. I dont know what to do anymore.
and. i am sorry.
for finding new friends cause i don't have my old friends to depend on anymore.
cause I lost them.

and.

it's my fault. and i am really sorry.
cause it's my fault, for being across the school from your classrooms. for changing course. if not half of us would be in the same block.
my fault for ending late and not being able to meet you all when i could have just left.
my fault for being lazy to go to the coffeeshop with you
my fault for not spaming your handphones with my text messages and calls
my fault for being left out in all your private jokes because I don't hang out with you all as much
my fault for not knowing your problems and secrets, cause I don't ask anymore.
my fault for not meeting you all in the morning anymore
my fault for being Liyana. The odd one out , in SOH.
my fault for being a terrible friend

and I am sorry.
i really am.

to finally facing the truth that things have changed
to finally realise that i really am. a terrible friend.
i really hate me.
and i know you all don't love me you all did the way we use to be. cause we have changed
but I love you all the same, or maybe even more than before.
cause it's like how a human never forgets their parents being there for them when they were new in this world.
You all are my family, that god gave me as friends.

and for friday's incident.
i am really sorry to Ben too.

fml, seriously

i am sorrrrrrrrrrrrry.

i think i am gonna miss ben's performance and he's gonna hate me.

Baobei er! Where are you ):

Hello everyone.

I am currently in the school library attempting to complete my assignment, which I have, miraculously, written an additional 500 words! Glad to say I once again overshot my word limit, but I am not gonna edit my text. I dare not read through the article( although I know I should), because I am afraid of deleting the entire text after trying to edit my text.
But perhaps I will. We shall see.

Anyway, today I am staying in school to watch Ben’s performing at the reflection closing ceremony and also collect the flame awards. Big congratulations to him ! Thank you for inviting me, and getting an extra ticket for Winnie. (:

I am having a terrible stomach ache, i swear. This came on about shortly after finishing the chicken rice I bought at W1. Which reminds me, Thank you Xueli for accompanying me to eat . I love you babe. I am suffering. In pain. Omf, save meeeeeeee!

On a lighter note, the time now is 6pm, which means internet connection (which has been cut off due to UT) is BACK! I can finally SUBMIT MY ASSIGNMENT, do my rj and all 
Cheryl (my brother’s ?-gf) is going to club tonight and she is gonna sign me in butterfac tomorrow! I like her best among my brother’s girlfriend, although I am constantly doubting why she fell for a guy like my brother. But i guess they are two peas in a pod. So similar , so perfect for each other. I hope they last, or patch, or whatever.

Tomorrow, almost every clubber is heading to my house area ! (benny benassi is coming!) but I am heading to butter, because I love butter so much. And zouk. And.. oh well , anything except Stjames.

Very excited for tomorrow! But don’t know what to expect. Oh well oh well (:
Stomach, please be okay till after 10pm please. It sucks to have this pain in my stomach . I feel like cabbing home to rest, but i won’t !

The very last time, I let you affect me. After this, it’s over. .

UPDATE: I SUBMITTED MY ASSIGNMENT :D

so alright i am trying for a real update here!

Tuesday, skipped school to do assignments and was sick. Didn't do shit, drilling upstairs and at the playground downstairs totally ruined my mood. slept. worked in the rain. closed early. went home happy happy (:

wednesday, late for school. omf la, seriously. marketing sucked shit. thanks Ben for helping me, YOU ARE REALLY A LIFE SAVER. LUB YOU DEEP DEEP FOR THAT! Egoistic guy bragging about some hot- transsexual ex gf. Long story, don't wanna type it out.
break with big bunch of classmates :)
thanks asshole for accompanying me and making me buy you-know-what

thursday, not late for school. nearly though. break with classmates again :)
met up with nurul and gang after so very long. went to study . thanks dog for the accompaniment!
i love you truckloads, i swear :)
hongni joined us , chilled at dog's house. went home.


fucking good news !
i am done with 1600+ words. left with another 400.
then it's clubbing on sat
and assignment chionging!
2000 words. HELP.

Accounting finally over ! UT FINALLY OVER
i SCREWED UP question 1, cause i thought of leaving it till the end.
3 marks gone !(:

and monday gonna wear office wear. hehehe .
entrepreunership !

You know, I don't believe in second chances.
once bitten, twice shy.
and i not longer have that longing for you.
it's best we both move on.
and remain good friends :)

this blog is getting a bit too.. not private. But locking all the post meaning my friends without livejournal wont be able to read. oh man..

I miss nurul bryan hamzah hannah rash amanda madeline jovi joejoe niegel ):
w15c . and so fast sem 2 holiday's coming up.

maths is gonna suck tomorrow, but skipping on problem meant not understanding the future maths problems.
looks like i am gonna be another liability tomorrow.

Maths UT tomorrow.
Rachel, I hope you be alright soon okay (:

studied with jesline and xueli in rp today.
dead tired. but managed to get somethings done !
it's 200words down, another... 1800 words to go ! or perhaps 3800 words.
but...



when i gave you my heart, you took it for granted.
Now i'm over it, you want it back.
let's just stop this merry go round.

For those babes who are hurting right now cause someone not deserving of you let you down.

boy i would have thought that,
when you left me i'd be broken,
with my confidence gone,
so gone.
hey boy i would have thought that
when you said that you don't want me
i'd feel ugly and sense something was wrong

standin' in front of the mirror
my skins never been clearer
my smiles never been whiter

(chorus:)
I look so good without you
Got me a new hair due
Lookin' fresh and brand new
since you said that we were through
done with your lies
baby now my tears dry
you can see my brown eyes
ever since you said goodbye

i look so good
i look so good without you
i look so good
i look so good without you